Hustle to Flow- Honouring the feminine

A survey by Gallup in 2023 found that 33 per cent of women felt almost always burned out, compared to 25 per cent of men.

With the increasing pushback against hustle culture and a shift towards a slow life, there are multiple questions that warrant an answer-

Is trad wife movement against hustle or is there more to it?

Are women suited for a 9 to 5 job?

Is rest a luxury?

Being a hustler for long enough and having faced the eventual health challenges it brought, I feel the following issues demand attention.

The coming of Industrial Revolution and labour shortage during World Wars became the key points of women entering workforce. In many developing countries, women, especially in lower classes have always been a part of workforce to make ends meet.

The rise in financial independence, status and the resultant confidence it brought gave women an arena to explore their own interests, focus on their careers and create their own queendoms. A parallel rise of boss babe culture portrayed the image of a corporate woman who can have it all and manage it all. This also gave rise to sayings such as, “Nobody hustles harder than a woman who doesn’t like asking people for anything”.

Anything taken to extreme has its repercussions. This culture where double burden of work fell on women slowly led to burnout. We saw women overriding their bodies, their hormones to be their best selves and ace it all at all times.

The increasing interaction with male colleagues also saw rising issues of sexual harassment at workplace. This further aggravated the issue. Slowly working women have become the norm. The question is how much of it is choice?

While it is important to celebrate and acknowledge that women do find satisfaction from their careers and work growth, there is also a silent pressure on those women who are forced to join the workplaces that don’t serve their higher good. This often happens as women fear losing financial independence and the resultant dependence, choice constraints that arise out of it. The other factor that plays a role is the increasing divide between women who are working and those who are not. The women who don’t join workforce are somehow deemed to be lesser and shamed by the women who are in workforce.

So piecing it all together,

1. I feel we must enable women with choices regarding which areas they wish to work in. A woman’s body is cyclical and it is completely up to her to decide whether she wishes to pursue a 9 to 5 or a relatively softer life which allows her the freedom of time to work.
2. We must evolve enough to see people beyond the labels. Love and belonging is not and must not be dependent on how much someone has achieved or not achieved. The race to be always-better results into betterment burnout. Life is equally meant to be enjoyed.
3. Workplaces tend to judge women on their actual past performance and men on their future potential. The ideas put forward by women are usually brushed off and women are mostly subjected to ‘prove-it-again’ bias.
4. We must not just acknowledge the mental workload of care economy carried by a married woman but also do something about it. There must be adequate social structures and support systems to enable easy transitions.
5. We must ensure safe and warm workspaces. The cost of hypervigilance on women’s bodies is less spoken about.
6. The consistent focus on one-upmanship, judging a person by one’s follower count and likes is a downward spiral.
7. Not everyone has the luxury of being a trad wife. For many households, work is not a choice but a need.
8. Irrespective of whether a woman is a housewife or a working professional, rest is not a luxury. The cost of overriding one’s bodies is fatal to women. We must honour the bodies of women who are to birth and nourish the future generations.

For those women who are somehow struggling in their workspaces, are in survival mode, or suffering from chronic fatigue, below are some small steps that can be helpful-

1. Small 10 minute mental breaks in which one can take deep breaths, move around and release the stiffness using stretching.
2. Making somatic shaking a priority before your rest hours to ward off the day’s stress.
3. Valuing asking for help. True femininity is receptivity to help and support. Hyper independence often stems from a trauma response.
4. Making your environment conducive to your health- A calm, relaxing atmosphere promotes mental wellbeing and nervous system regulation. This can include soft lighting, less stimulating atmosphere, presence of water element in the home, etc.
5. Being around people that fill you up and encourage you to be your larger expanded selves.
6. Regular check-in of mental health, nervous system (Are you irritable, angry, on-the-edge?)
7. Regular time for decompression on a daily basis.

Beyonce once said, “Y’all are fairy godmothers, magicians, sculptors, and sometimes even our therapists. I encourage you to not forget this power you have or to take it lightly. We have the opportunity to contribute to a society where any girl can look at a billboard or magazine cover and see her own reflection. Soul has no color, no shape, no form. Just like all of your work, it goes far beyond what the eye can see. You have the power to change perception, to inspire and empower, and to show people how to embrace their complications, and see the flaws, and the true beauty and strength that’s inside all of us.“

Aim not for perfection, rather allow yourself the grace to be your messy and weird selves.

You are still beautiful.